When I’m in the middle of a family holiday, I try not to check my emails. I’m pretty good about ignoring social media and electronics, but on this particular day, after a long hike, I reached for my phone to review some of the pics I had taken during the day. 

For whatever reason, I took a quick peek at my emails. I’m glad I did. I had received an email from one of my program members, whom we’ll call Lisa, about a crisis that struck her family. She wanted to share a message with me.

If you’ve read my book, Protect Your Purse, you know that one of the big lessons I learned after becoming a widow and inheriting $400,000 of debt, is to ask “what if” questions on an ongoing basis.

– What if I develop a serious illness? Would I be able to survive financially?

– What if my partner becomes ill? Or we divorce?

– If I lost my job, what would that do to my ability to pay the bills?

And so on.

The idea is to poke through the comfortable illusion that life will never happen to you and to put a plan in place for scenarios that could potentially derail your life.

Most of us never take the time to do this because...

a) it’s not fun;

b) it can be downright scary; and

c) it can uncover uncomfortable facts about where we are in life. So, we avoid and defer.

We can think about our debt levels later.

We can address the fact that we don’t earn enough to cover our lifestyle costs on our own, at some other moment. It’s not relevant right now. Our relationship is in great shape.

We’re perfectly healthy and so is the rest of our family. It’s all good.

Wait – what just happened?

Then, when you least expect it, you encounter a “what if” moment, just like Lisa did.

After some pleasantries, here’s what she wrote (anonymized and shared with permission):

I am writing to tell you that my “what if” scenario is here today. My husband had [a medical test] on Monday. We were convinced that only a [small intervention] would be necessary [for his condition] and that we would carry on.

As it turns out, he will need [major surgery]. Many members of his family have experienced this condition and several have died from it.

I am now facing that situation where we will have to live on one salary. It’s going to be a challenge, but I think we can do it. Every penny we spend now will have to be evaluated. None of this matters; I just want him to make it to our wedding anniversary in October….and beyond. To say that I’m scared is an understatement.
 
We feel very fortunate to be living in Ottawa (Ontario) and so close to [a major hospital that specializes in this condition]. We look forward to putting all of this behind us.
 
Thank goodness I have been able to become more aware and active, proactive, in regards to my finances. I’m not where I would like to be, but I’m further ahead than I was.
 
Thanks for your continued efforts to bring the likes of me out of the cave where our money is concerned. 

Wake up call

Eighteen months ago, Lisa bought a copy of my book after attending her first group coaching session in one of my teaching groups. When she didn’t show up for the next meeting, I assumed she had decided the group wasn’t for her. Later, she told me she had taken the time to read the book and had the first of what she labels as a wake-up call.

She confessed, “I realized just how much I don’t know about money and how awful it would be if something happened, like the “what if” scenarios you discuss in the book.”

Lisa couldn’t join the group at that time, or even think about her finances, because she was dealing with her own health scare – a cancer diagnosis. She underwent medical intervention and worked her way back to health. That’s when she joined our group and she began to share more details about her situation.

The downside of taking control

Here’s the thing about starting to take control of your money when you’ve been living on financial autopilot and deferring to your partner: it can be difficult.

When you pull up the rug, you find dirt you didn’t know existed.

Lisa experienced a range of emotions, as do many women when they first start to take charge of their finances.

The more she learned, the more she exposed the gaps in her financial literacy. It was a lot like taking one step forward, only to realize you’re actually two steps back.

For example, you start looking at debt and creating a debt repayment plan. In the process, you realize it’s going to take you a lot longer than you thought to pay it off. The task feels daunting.

You consider the amount you’ll need to have saved by the time you retire and you realize that you don’t have enough time left to reach your target.

Despite the fact that it felt overwhelming at moments, Lisa persisted.

She kept showing up, learning, asking questions, and digging into her finances to figure out how to move forward. She made progress.

Then, this crisis.

The upside of change

I wanted to share Lisa’s story with you for two reasons.

First, this is one more data point in favour of the argument that we simply don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Perhaps it will offer up adventure and opportunity, or it may instead bring challenge and stress. Since no one can predict the future, wise people intend for the former to happen, but they plan for the latter.

Second, every step you take toward deepening your financial literacy will serve you beyond measure.

It is a huge step for Lisa to be able to say that she feels they’ll be OK despite the shocking turn of events. Recall her words: “Thank goodness I have been able to become more aware and active, proactive, in regards to my finances. I’m not where I would like to be, but I’m further ahead than I was.”

In other words, her situation is not ideal, but it’s far better than it could have been if she hadn’t taken the time to face her fears, peel back the onion on her financial situation, and learn how to improve it.

You know what financial literacy education is all about? Peace of mind.

When a crisis hits, you know you can handle it because you have developed, or are developing, the financial skills needed to cope.

How do you measure peace of mind? You don’t; it’s priceless. It’s worth every bit of effort it takes to get you there.

Where to start

If you’d like to grow your financial literacy, start by taking my Financial Clarity Quiz. You'll find the link below this post.

The quiz will give you personalized feedback on where to start and what to do first to become financially strong.

Whatever you do, if you find yourself in a financial cave, don’t stay there. It’s so much nicer on the outside.